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Touching life and death

I shared in previously about friends and clients who have died recently and what that has stirred up for me. In this newsletter, I want to share how I supported a dear friend in her passing. On April 27th, my dear friend Carol died. I first met Carol when I immigrated to America in 1999. When I arrived in Livermore, California, I knew nobody and I wanted to meet people who had the same interests as myself so I went in search of a yoga class. It was not as easy as I thought it was going to be but I did manage to track down Carol! Every week I looked forward to my yoga class because I knew that Carol would greet me as someone she knew. I felt comfortable enough to ask her about practical questions, like where was the best place to buy a TV. She taught me, in a way nobody else has, to slow down and connect with the slightest change in my body and to recognize that! In those early years of being in America I took a reflexology class and she very bravely let me practice on her. When I started taking classes in CranioSacral therapy she again let me practice on her! She celebrated the birth of my babies, brought me food and crotched her famed coat hangers -2 in pink and 2 in blue!

Carol received CST regularly from me for the last 10 years. In February, she called me to cancel her appointment because she was having difficulty breathing and had been diagnosed with metastasized melanoma in her lungs. I went to visit her at home and for much of that visit we simply sat next to each and held hands. We spoke to each other when it felt right and let the tears come. It was a profound moment of connection for me. Deep in my heart I felt like this was her time to pass and I knew she needed more time to gets things in order. I saw that she was heading into respiratory distress and knew she needed to go to the hospital. She had a deep dislike for hospitals so it was hard for me to tell that she needed to go. Afterwards she told me she how grateful she was for that advice.

Over those 9 weeks I visited regularly and once she was clear that she was ready to transition she asked if I would help. Carol and I had laughed as we acknowledged how she was the person I practiced on – I told her that I would even though I really had no experience in helping people transition. The last time I was with her I sat and held her hand and provided a steady presence as another friend, more versed in midwifing people out, helped her. Carol and I had agreed that we would connect in the ocean with the dolphins knowing that I was due to go to the Bahamas in July. Then one week later on April 27th as I got of the ocean in Florida, I received a text from Paula, her daughter, letting me know that Carol had just passed calmly and peacefully, just as she had wished. Minutes later two of my friends came running up to tell me that there were two dolphins out on the ocean! This just leaves me in awe. Love from my hands and heart, Kate xx


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